This topic is very rare, unheard & interesting too. Single mother is one who have many people around them but still alone. To work on such topic will be interesting journey. Already we had worked one year on single parent topic at the basic level project.
This topic is special & related to our group as we have so many single parented child friends. We also have the previous year’s data of single parented child. From last year’s project we got the ratio of single mothers & single fathers which was shocking & unbalanced as well. Single parented children are facing so many problems even though they are supported by their single parent but just think what about support to the single mothers in this male dominated society.
Already at the basic level we came across the unbalanced proportion of single mothers & single fathers where single mothers are almost triple than single fathers (73% single mothers & 27% single fathers). We all can guess the reason behind this ratio & there is not even a single reason we have numbers of reasons. Male dominated society is one of the biggest reason where women don’t have as much freedom as men. In our society women are still forced to walk behind men. If we talk about the responsibilities of child then men can do each & everything except birth but men don’t do even a 5% of a women. Today society is also playing a vital role in forcing women behind. So that to avoid society’s taunting women themselves don’t want negotiate all these work from household work to child caring.
From birth to death women are emotionally attached with their child. This is one of the reason why single mothers are more in numbers. Men can get easily married after death of her wife but one women can not get the same. New groom family wont allow a bride to brought her children to their home & women can not left their children. Economic stability may be one of the reason why single fathers get easily married but in case of women, she don’t have that kind of economic stability. For second marriage bride again have to spent so much which not affordable by the bride family most of the time.
Till now we have referred around six research papers on single parenting & single mothers. We also meet with one resource person from Population First Ngo Ms. Meenal Gandhe. We also meet with three single parents & they shared with us their experience about parenting. In those three single parent two were female & one was male. We have listed around 15 communities on orkut which are to be formed for share & care for the single parent. We have also listed around 20 websites which are especially made for single parent & single mothers. We have also created one online database for single parented child on google docs & link for the same we have given in our blog "singleparented".com.We also have designed the aspects of being a single parent & we have uploaded that on the blog.
Sunday 14 November, 2010
Single Mothers : Links & Websites.
Nowadays we all are looking a lot of of support system & help group on the web so this is just my small effort to put some of links for your references on the issue of single mothers.
singlemom
onlymums
singlemothers
singlerose
singlemothersoutreach
singlemothersbychoice
myspace:singlemothers
single mothers support network
singlemom
onlymums
singlemothers
singlerose
singlemothersoutreach
singlemothersbychoice
myspace:singlemothers
single mothers support network
Thursday 4 November, 2010
Introduction
This topic is very rare, unheard & interesting too. Single mother is one who have many people around them but still alone. To work on such topic will be interesting journey. Already we had worked one year on single parent topic at the basic level research with PUKAR. The journey of one year fellowship with PUKAR was fantastic & full of experience.
This topic is special & related to our group as we have so many single parented child friends. We also have the previous year’s data of single parented child. From last year’s project we got the ratio of single mothers & single fathers which was shocking & unbalanced as well. Single parented children are facing so many problems even though they are supported by their single parent but just think what about support to the single mothers in this male dominated society.
Already at the basic level we came across the unbalanced proportion of single mothers & single fathers where single mothers are almost triple than single fathers (73% single mothers & 27% single fathers). We all can guess the reason behind this ratio & there is not even a single reason we have numbers of reasons. Male dominated society is one of the biggest reason where women don’t have as much freedom as men. In our society women are still forced to walk behind men. If we talk about the responsibilities of child then men can do each & everything except birth but men don’t do even a 5% of a women. Today society is also playing a vital role in forcing women behind. So that to avoid society’s taunting women themselves don’t want negotiate all these work from household work to child caring.
From birth to death women are emotionally attached with their child. This is one of the reason why single mothers are more in numbers. Men can get easily married after death of her wife but one women can not get the same. New groom family wont allow a bride to brought her children to their home & women can not left their children. Economic stability may be one of the reason why single fathers get easily married but in case of women, she don’t have that kind of economic stability. For second marriage bride again have to spent so much which not affordable by the bride family most of the time.
Till now we have referred around six research papers on single parenting & single mothers. We also meet with one resource person from Population First Ngo Ms. Meenal Gandhe. We also meet with three single parents & they shared with us their experience about parenting. In those three single parent two were female & one was male. We have listed around 15 communities on orkut which are to be formed for share & care for the single parent. We have also listed around 20 websites which are especially made for single parent & single mothers. We have also created one online database for single parented child on google docs & link for the same we have given in our blog singleparented.blogspot.com.We also have designed the aspects of being a single parent & we have uploaded that on the blog.
We are enjoying by working with PUKAR. We are getting valuable things through our meeting with our great coordinators Sunil & Milind. I thank to PUKAR for giving us such opportunity to work with them in the field of social working with education & technology.
This topic is special & related to our group as we have so many single parented child friends. We also have the previous year’s data of single parented child. From last year’s project we got the ratio of single mothers & single fathers which was shocking & unbalanced as well. Single parented children are facing so many problems even though they are supported by their single parent but just think what about support to the single mothers in this male dominated society.
Already at the basic level we came across the unbalanced proportion of single mothers & single fathers where single mothers are almost triple than single fathers (73% single mothers & 27% single fathers). We all can guess the reason behind this ratio & there is not even a single reason we have numbers of reasons. Male dominated society is one of the biggest reason where women don’t have as much freedom as men. In our society women are still forced to walk behind men. If we talk about the responsibilities of child then men can do each & everything except birth but men don’t do even a 5% of a women. Today society is also playing a vital role in forcing women behind. So that to avoid society’s taunting women themselves don’t want negotiate all these work from household work to child caring.
From birth to death women are emotionally attached with their child. This is one of the reason why single mothers are more in numbers. Men can get easily married after death of her wife but one women can not get the same. New groom family wont allow a bride to brought her children to their home & women can not left their children. Economic stability may be one of the reason why single fathers get easily married but in case of women, she don’t have that kind of economic stability. For second marriage bride again have to spent so much which not affordable by the bride family most of the time.
Till now we have referred around six research papers on single parenting & single mothers. We also meet with one resource person from Population First Ngo Ms. Meenal Gandhe. We also meet with three single parents & they shared with us their experience about parenting. In those three single parent two were female & one was male. We have listed around 15 communities on orkut which are to be formed for share & care for the single parent. We have also listed around 20 websites which are especially made for single parent & single mothers. We have also created one online database for single parented child on google docs & link for the same we have given in our blog singleparented.blogspot.com.We also have designed the aspects of being a single parent & we have uploaded that on the blog.
We are enjoying by working with PUKAR. We are getting valuable things through our meeting with our great coordinators Sunil & Milind. I thank to PUKAR for giving us such opportunity to work with them in the field of social working with education & technology.
Thursday 14 October, 2010
Eight Aspect Chart
Eight Aspect Chart
Eight aspects which are causes of being a single mother are came through healthy discussion & arguments between the three persons Sunil, Dinesh & Raj.
It was fantastic & interesting way to come across these aspects which are shown in diagram. Sunil gave us task to write twenty five questions related to the single parent mothers. We wrote those questions which came in our mind at that time. Again I & Dinesh shares each of our questions in which some were common & some were very genuine & important. Then from those questions we underlined the words which are meaningful & necessary. Then again we discussed on those words which we filtered out of the forty questions.
Finally we designed a lovely & excellent chat which can describe the whole issue of single mothers. then we interlinked some of hose words through which the topic is getting more clearer. Now further we are writing on those aspects by interlinking them with single mothers.
Sunday 10 October, 2010
Debates on Single Parent
Public Policy Debate
Single parents have often been the focus of public policy debate. The debate has included both practical considerations around the role of government in their support, and moral ones in response to the decline of the traditional family. The moral debate tends to divide between liberal and conservative positions with liberals welcoming or accepting the changes in family structures, while conservatives decry the declines in marriage and the rises in divorce and cohabitation.
The major issue facing single mothers and their children in the United States today is Poverty. Female-headed single parent families comprise 50% of all families in poverty (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 1979). Statistics show in the U.S. Census Bureau that children raised by both parents grow up with more financial and educational advantages.
Hence, a policy debate tends to split along similar lines with fiscal conservatives emphasizing a minimal role for government and an employment focus, while liberals tend to support more government involvement in an attempt to minimize poverty through things like social programs such as welfare and insufficient child support.
Children from all family types are at risk when they are experiencing parenting that is inadequate in the terms of attention, being there to nurture and monitor. This can happen in families that are experiencing economic stress and may need to work more than others. (http://social.jrank.org)
Other Debates
Other debates consist of whether or not children from single family homes encounter and engage in violence, which can affect their adult lives.
Also, the debate about whether or not the fact that children from single family homes can become emotionally distracted or upset and preoccupied by the exposure of their family lives, which affects their education in a dire way. One side thinks that adolescences education might be deferred or they can drop out completely due to parental efficacy. Their attitudes toward the importance of an education and the investment and time the put in their children’s education can determine whether the child will enroll in higher education as an adult while the other side believes that it is other factors that contribute to this dire affect in their education.
Single parents have often been the focus of public policy debate. The debate has included both practical considerations around the role of government in their support, and moral ones in response to the decline of the traditional family. The moral debate tends to divide between liberal and conservative positions with liberals welcoming or accepting the changes in family structures, while conservatives decry the declines in marriage and the rises in divorce and cohabitation.
The major issue facing single mothers and their children in the United States today is Poverty. Female-headed single parent families comprise 50% of all families in poverty (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 1979). Statistics show in the U.S. Census Bureau that children raised by both parents grow up with more financial and educational advantages.
Hence, a policy debate tends to split along similar lines with fiscal conservatives emphasizing a minimal role for government and an employment focus, while liberals tend to support more government involvement in an attempt to minimize poverty through things like social programs such as welfare and insufficient child support.
Children from all family types are at risk when they are experiencing parenting that is inadequate in the terms of attention, being there to nurture and monitor. This can happen in families that are experiencing economic stress and may need to work more than others. (http://social.jrank.org)
Other Debates
Other debates consist of whether or not children from single family homes encounter and engage in violence, which can affect their adult lives.
Also, the debate about whether or not the fact that children from single family homes can become emotionally distracted or upset and preoccupied by the exposure of their family lives, which affects their education in a dire way. One side thinks that adolescences education might be deferred or they can drop out completely due to parental efficacy. Their attitudes toward the importance of an education and the investment and time the put in their children’s education can determine whether the child will enroll in higher education as an adult while the other side believes that it is other factors that contribute to this dire affect in their education.
Choice Parent
A choice parent is a parent who voluntarily becomes a single parent to a biologic or adoptive child from the very beginning, rather than by a later separation from a partner.
A woman may voluntarily become a choice parent by artificial insemination, use of a cervical cap conception device with donor sperm, or simply by intercourse. Women who choose insemination or adoption to become parents are also referred to as "choice mums" or "choice mothers". These women, many of whom are over 35, tend to be educated, career women. Children of this group of single moms are less likely to be at risk of poverty.
In History and Fiction
There have been several famous single parents who were also actors, vocalists, and politicians. Murphy Brown, one famous fictional character in the sitcom of the same name, was a career woman working in a TV news firm. She became pregnant and had a baby in the comedy series' fourth season. The character's decisions became a nation-wide interest when she was referred to by several US family values-oriented politicians, including then-vice president, Dan Quayle, who openly criticized the show during a 1992 speech in San Francisco.
Other examples include:
• Shmi Skywalker in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
• Porter Ricks in Flipper
• Robby Ray Stewart in Hannah Montana
• Frank DeFazio in Laverne and Shirley
• Florida Evans in Good Times after James (John Amos) has been killed off
• Ellen Miller in Lassie
• Andy Taylor in The Andy Griffith Show
• Dr. Beverly Crusher in Star Trek: The Next Generation
• Captain Benjamin Sisko in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
• Hester Prynne in The Scarlet Letter
• Danny Tanner in Full House
• Lorelai Gilmore in Gilmore Girls
• Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird
• Dan Burns in Dan in Real Life
• Michael Bluth in "Arrested Development" (Widower)
• Julia Baker in "Julia" (Widow)
A woman may voluntarily become a choice parent by artificial insemination, use of a cervical cap conception device with donor sperm, or simply by intercourse. Women who choose insemination or adoption to become parents are also referred to as "choice mums" or "choice mothers". These women, many of whom are over 35, tend to be educated, career women. Children of this group of single moms are less likely to be at risk of poverty.
In History and Fiction
There have been several famous single parents who were also actors, vocalists, and politicians. Murphy Brown, one famous fictional character in the sitcom of the same name, was a career woman working in a TV news firm. She became pregnant and had a baby in the comedy series' fourth season. The character's decisions became a nation-wide interest when she was referred to by several US family values-oriented politicians, including then-vice president, Dan Quayle, who openly criticized the show during a 1992 speech in San Francisco.
Other examples include:
• Shmi Skywalker in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
• Porter Ricks in Flipper
• Robby Ray Stewart in Hannah Montana
• Frank DeFazio in Laverne and Shirley
• Florida Evans in Good Times after James (John Amos) has been killed off
• Ellen Miller in Lassie
• Andy Taylor in The Andy Griffith Show
• Dr. Beverly Crusher in Star Trek: The Next Generation
• Captain Benjamin Sisko in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
• Hester Prynne in The Scarlet Letter
• Danny Tanner in Full House
• Lorelai Gilmore in Gilmore Girls
• Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird
• Dan Burns in Dan in Real Life
• Michael Bluth in "Arrested Development" (Widower)
• Julia Baker in "Julia" (Widow)
Assistance and Help
A common way for single parents to seek and receive help is over the Internet by conversing with other single parents in similar situations. There are various websites available, for support, information, and sharing the single parenting experience through offering discussion forums, blogs and professional advice to those parents who find themselves having a difficult time parenting alone. Many single parent communities offer chat boards for pregnant mothers and single parents through each stage of child development. http://www.SingleWithKids.co.uk, http://www.onlydads.org and http://www.onlymums.org are such websites and as well as the online support, they also provide mutual support through meet ups and breaks, proving to single parents that life really can continue after divorce or bereavement.
In the UK Gingerbread - the National charity for single parents - has a facebook page , a twitter account and a discussion forum for members
In the UK Gingerbread - the National charity for single parents - has a facebook page , a twitter account and a discussion forum for members
Effects of Single Parenting
Single parent families are at a higher risk of poverty than couple families, and on average single mothers have poorer health than couple mothers.
Most children from single parent families do well. Many factors influence how children develop in single-parent families: the parent's age, education level, and occupation; the family's income, and the family's support network of friends and extended family members (including the non-resident parent, if available). Disadvantages in these factors that often accompany single parenting appear to cause most of this association rather than single parenting itself.
Shocking headlines do get published; for example a 2003 Swedish study, stated that those living with a single parent were about three times more likely to kill themselves or end up in the hospital after an attempted suicide by the age of 26 than children living with two parents, however this only happened to 2.2 percent of girls and 1 percent of boys.
A variety of viewpoints do exist, with different readings of the research possible. The Institute for the Study of Civil Society reports that children of single parents, after controlling for other variables like family income, are more likely to have problems. There are impacts of sole parenting on children, however the weight of the evidence it is suggested, do not appear to support a view that sole parents are a major cause of societal ills and are doing irreparable damage to their children..
Most children from single parent families do well. Many factors influence how children develop in single-parent families: the parent's age, education level, and occupation; the family's income, and the family's support network of friends and extended family members (including the non-resident parent, if available). Disadvantages in these factors that often accompany single parenting appear to cause most of this association rather than single parenting itself.
Shocking headlines do get published; for example a 2003 Swedish study, stated that those living with a single parent were about three times more likely to kill themselves or end up in the hospital after an attempted suicide by the age of 26 than children living with two parents, however this only happened to 2.2 percent of girls and 1 percent of boys.
A variety of viewpoints do exist, with different readings of the research possible. The Institute for the Study of Civil Society reports that children of single parents, after controlling for other variables like family income, are more likely to have problems. There are impacts of sole parenting on children, however the weight of the evidence it is suggested, do not appear to support a view that sole parents are a major cause of societal ills and are doing irreparable damage to their children..
Minutes of the Meeting with Meenal Gandhe
Meeting with Meenal Gandhi
Introduction: Meenal Gandhi(programme Manager)
Population first.
Meenal Gandhi is programme manager for LAADLI Campaign of Population First which runs and works under and with the help of NSS family of Mumbai University.Population First is working on save girl child& their basic theme is sex selection before or after birth which is prohibited .PC &PNDT is ACT which is implemented in 1994 & it is prohibited of Sex Selection
In our Meeting Meenal says “Gender is the top most & very important reason due to which women are mostly single parent”. According to her gender is the only reason on which all other factors age, interest, education, economic status, culture & tradition, need & other reasons are dependent on gender.
Shesaid in our society earlier women were forced to take custody of their children but this has increased a lot so that they themselves take custody of their children otherwise they could face society in which all womenaccepted their children . In our society all the responsibilities of children are given to women even though men can do everything except birth.
Miss Meenal suggested me to specify more the topic.My research question is – “Why women are mostly single parent?. According to Meenalour topic should be “Is Gender the reason, Why single parented families are headed by women?. She told suggest contacting Dr. Sharda Director of Population First for more help related to this topic. She also provide me study material on PC&PNDT Act 1991.
The experience was good to meet with Meenal. I would like to meet Meenal again during my project
Introduction: Meenal Gandhi(programme Manager)
Population first.
Meenal Gandhi is programme manager for LAADLI Campaign of Population First which runs and works under and with the help of NSS family of Mumbai University.Population First is working on save girl child& their basic theme is sex selection before or after birth which is prohibited .PC &PNDT is ACT which is implemented in 1994 & it is prohibited of Sex Selection
In our Meeting Meenal says “Gender is the top most & very important reason due to which women are mostly single parent”. According to her gender is the only reason on which all other factors age, interest, education, economic status, culture & tradition, need & other reasons are dependent on gender.
Shesaid in our society earlier women were forced to take custody of their children but this has increased a lot so that they themselves take custody of their children otherwise they could face society in which all womenaccepted their children . In our society all the responsibilities of children are given to women even though men can do everything except birth.
Miss Meenal suggested me to specify more the topic.My research question is – “Why women are mostly single parent?. According to Meenalour topic should be “Is Gender the reason, Why single parented families are headed by women?. She told suggest contacting Dr. Sharda Director of Population First for more help related to this topic. She also provide me study material on PC&PNDT Act 1991.
The experience was good to meet with Meenal. I would like to meet Meenal again during my project
PC and PNDT Act- 1994
PC and PNDT ACT
Declining sex ratio in the country has been a matter of concern for all. The Government is implementing Pre-conception and Pre-natal Diagnostic Techniques (PC & PNDT) Act, 1994, which bans determination of the sex of the foetus. The PC & PNDT Act is being implemented through the State/UT Governments through the Appropriate Authorities appointed at the State/ District level. Civil society and NGOs have played a major role in framing the PC & PNDT Act and Rules. Many of the NGOs also come up with various types of innovative proposals for effective implementation of the PC & PNDT Act.
Related to this act I have enough information & literature material which including proforma of application of filling case against the criminal. It also includes contact details & addresses of reporting authorities. For your help you can contact me rajkumar.kanojiya90@yahoo.in
Below I am mentioning names of some NGO those who can help you more to know about this act & other details related to this act.
1) Population First, Fort- Mumbai.
http://www.populationfirst.org/
2) Men Against Violence & Abuse (MAVA), Andheri- Mumbai.
http://www.mavaindia.org/
3) Vaccha, Santacruz- Mumbai.
Declining sex ratio in the country has been a matter of concern for all. The Government is implementing Pre-conception and Pre-natal Diagnostic Techniques (PC & PNDT) Act, 1994, which bans determination of the sex of the foetus. The PC & PNDT Act is being implemented through the State/UT Governments through the Appropriate Authorities appointed at the State/ District level. Civil society and NGOs have played a major role in framing the PC & PNDT Act and Rules. Many of the NGOs also come up with various types of innovative proposals for effective implementation of the PC & PNDT Act.
Related to this act I have enough information & literature material which including proforma of application of filling case against the criminal. It also includes contact details & addresses of reporting authorities. For your help you can contact me rajkumar.kanojiya90@yahoo.in
Below I am mentioning names of some NGO those who can help you more to know about this act & other details related to this act.
1) Population First, Fort- Mumbai.
http://www.populationfirst.org/
2) Men Against Violence & Abuse (MAVA), Andheri- Mumbai.
http://www.mavaindia.org/
3) Vaccha, Santacruz- Mumbai.
Story of Single Father
Bob Greig
I have been a single parent since 2004. My two daughters Priya and Anya live with me on a full-time basis. In the last few years I have experienced the highpoints and downside of raising a family on my own. I’ve experienced redundancy, some ill-health, a lack of disposable income and a constant nagging feeling that I should always be doing a bit better. But on the other hand, I get to see my children grow up day by day and in truth I have a better relationship with my daughters now than I ever would have done before.
It’s just special.
But it has taken me some time to get back on my feet. I’d say 4 years or so. My divorce was tangled, messy, and complicated. Add a contentious dose of the Children’s Act into the mix and you will begin to understand why at the end of the process I was both wiser and weaker. I’d gone from a fairly laid back and happy professional to a man who couldn’t enter a supermarket for fear of having another panic attack. In those dark years I’d stopped socialising and found safety only in my own house.
Like all single dads I meet, none of us are brought up to raise families on our own. There is a degree of “make it up as you go along” in my house – at times that can be fun; at other times it all feels a bit unsettling. There is love though – and that is what really matters.
Like ALL single Dads, I like that point in the day when the kids are in bed. Then I watch Newsnight and drink Rioja and re-read books by Alan Silitoe and Stan Barstow. One of the (many) joys of being a single parent is that you get to watch and listen to what you want again!
Professional Background
A couple of years voluntary work with the Mission to Seafarers was followed by a sixteen year stretch with the Church of England in the field of property management. A short time in private property consultancy with King Sturge followed where I was project managing the transformation of churches who were looking to bring community/mixed use into their buildings.
The key to successfully managing a complex property project is to ensure you work with the very best professional team - and by that I mean individuals who combine enthusiasm and technical know-how. I believe that same principle applies to single parents who do need occasional help and support to make the most out of our situation.
I have been a single parent since 2004. My two daughters Priya and Anya live with me on a full-time basis. In the last few years I have experienced the highpoints and downside of raising a family on my own. I’ve experienced redundancy, some ill-health, a lack of disposable income and a constant nagging feeling that I should always be doing a bit better. But on the other hand, I get to see my children grow up day by day and in truth I have a better relationship with my daughters now than I ever would have done before.
It’s just special.
But it has taken me some time to get back on my feet. I’d say 4 years or so. My divorce was tangled, messy, and complicated. Add a contentious dose of the Children’s Act into the mix and you will begin to understand why at the end of the process I was both wiser and weaker. I’d gone from a fairly laid back and happy professional to a man who couldn’t enter a supermarket for fear of having another panic attack. In those dark years I’d stopped socialising and found safety only in my own house.
Like all single dads I meet, none of us are brought up to raise families on our own. There is a degree of “make it up as you go along” in my house – at times that can be fun; at other times it all feels a bit unsettling. There is love though – and that is what really matters.
Like ALL single Dads, I like that point in the day when the kids are in bed. Then I watch Newsnight and drink Rioja and re-read books by Alan Silitoe and Stan Barstow. One of the (many) joys of being a single parent is that you get to watch and listen to what you want again!
Professional Background
A couple of years voluntary work with the Mission to Seafarers was followed by a sixteen year stretch with the Church of England in the field of property management. A short time in private property consultancy with King Sturge followed where I was project managing the transformation of churches who were looking to bring community/mixed use into their buildings.
The key to successfully managing a complex property project is to ensure you work with the very best professional team - and by that I mean individuals who combine enthusiasm and technical know-how. I believe that same principle applies to single parents who do need occasional help and support to make the most out of our situation.
Story of Single Mother
Rebecca Giraud
I have been a single mum since 2006 living in the South West with my daughter Saskia who is 11.
Having experienced many of the struggles associated with the breakdown of a relationship, I am familiar with the endless feelings of guilt and the overwhelming fatigue that can make it so hard to provide the emotional and financial support needed for the children. Few of us decide to be single parents out of choice, and for most it takes many months of reflection (with support from family and friends if we are lucky) to find the strength and self-confidence to really move on.
Things today are much better for me, and sometimes they are quite wonderful. Thanks to the kindness of others and my own hard work I have much to celebrate.
Professional Background
I have spent the majority of the my professional career working for non-government organisations in the area of Social Development. In particular I have worked overseas in Southern Africa and the South Pacific in HIV/AIDS and in the UK in the same area. I have also worked with the homeless and those experiencing Domestic Abuse. I have worked at project management level, co-ordinated research projects and have been, and continue to be, involved in carrying out strategic reveiws of services for vulnerable groups.
I have been a single mum since 2006 living in the South West with my daughter Saskia who is 11.
Having experienced many of the struggles associated with the breakdown of a relationship, I am familiar with the endless feelings of guilt and the overwhelming fatigue that can make it so hard to provide the emotional and financial support needed for the children. Few of us decide to be single parents out of choice, and for most it takes many months of reflection (with support from family and friends if we are lucky) to find the strength and self-confidence to really move on.
Things today are much better for me, and sometimes they are quite wonderful. Thanks to the kindness of others and my own hard work I have much to celebrate.
Professional Background
I have spent the majority of the my professional career working for non-government organisations in the area of Social Development. In particular I have worked overseas in Southern Africa and the South Pacific in HIV/AIDS and in the UK in the same area. I have also worked with the homeless and those experiencing Domestic Abuse. I have worked at project management level, co-ordinated research projects and have been, and continue to be, involved in carrying out strategic reveiws of services for vulnerable groups.
Single Parent: Meaning & Definitions
Families in which children are raised by only one parent are now more common
around the world. Migration, separation, divorce, and widowhood are influencing
this trend.Women who have never been married and who live without a partner also
account for an increasing proportion of single-parent families.While mothers often
head such families, fathers, grandmothers, aunts, or other female relatives may be
single parents.
Women’s increased ability to earn an income is also influencing the growth in
single-parent families, since those with independent incomes are better able to cope
on their own. The International Labour Organization reports that economic need and
changes in women’s perceptions of their social roles and priorities have led to more
women entering the workforce in the last few decades. As a result, the gap between
male and female labor force participation has narrowed and the number of twoearner
and single-parent families has increased—although earning power is still lower
among women.
As women tend to be younger than their male partners and have longer life
expectancies, widowhood is also a cause of single parenthood. In African countries
most seriously affected by AIDS, a substantial number of families are losing one or
both parents to the epidemic.
As more people balance job and family duties, governments and the private sector
are urged to promote greater compatibility between work-force participation and
family responsibilities, especially for single parents. The Programme of Action adopted
at the 1994 International Conference on Population and Development recommends
that special attention be paid to the provision of health insurance and social security,
day-care centers and facilities for breastfeeding, kindergartens, part-time jobs, paid
parental leave, flexible work schedules, and reproductive and child-health services.
From Wikipedia:
Single-parent (also lone parent, solo parent and sole parent) is a parent who cares for one or more children without the physical assistance of the other parent in the home. "Single Parenthood" may vary according to the local laws of different nations or regions.
Single parenthood may occur for a variety of reasons. A few possible scenerios are by choice, as in, divorce, adoption, artificial insemination, surrogate motherhood, while others are the result of an unforeseeable occurrence, such as a death, child abuse, child neglect, or abandonment by biological parents.
The living and parenting arrangements for single parents are diverse. A number live in households with family, other adults or alone in home, apartments, condos or government assisted housing. When parents separate, one party, usually the primary parent, has the children the majority of the time but secondary or 'non-resident' parents continue to share some type of parenting time and responsibility, to some extent, with their child.
around the world. Migration, separation, divorce, and widowhood are influencing
this trend.Women who have never been married and who live without a partner also
account for an increasing proportion of single-parent families.While mothers often
head such families, fathers, grandmothers, aunts, or other female relatives may be
single parents.
Women’s increased ability to earn an income is also influencing the growth in
single-parent families, since those with independent incomes are better able to cope
on their own. The International Labour Organization reports that economic need and
changes in women’s perceptions of their social roles and priorities have led to more
women entering the workforce in the last few decades. As a result, the gap between
male and female labor force participation has narrowed and the number of twoearner
and single-parent families has increased—although earning power is still lower
among women.
As women tend to be younger than their male partners and have longer life
expectancies, widowhood is also a cause of single parenthood. In African countries
most seriously affected by AIDS, a substantial number of families are losing one or
both parents to the epidemic.
As more people balance job and family duties, governments and the private sector
are urged to promote greater compatibility between work-force participation and
family responsibilities, especially for single parents. The Programme of Action adopted
at the 1994 International Conference on Population and Development recommends
that special attention be paid to the provision of health insurance and social security,
day-care centers and facilities for breastfeeding, kindergartens, part-time jobs, paid
parental leave, flexible work schedules, and reproductive and child-health services.
From Wikipedia:
Single-parent (also lone parent, solo parent and sole parent) is a parent who cares for one or more children without the physical assistance of the other parent in the home. "Single Parenthood" may vary according to the local laws of different nations or regions.
Single parenthood may occur for a variety of reasons. A few possible scenerios are by choice, as in, divorce, adoption, artificial insemination, surrogate motherhood, while others are the result of an unforeseeable occurrence, such as a death, child abuse, child neglect, or abandonment by biological parents.
The living and parenting arrangements for single parents are diverse. A number live in households with family, other adults or alone in home, apartments, condos or government assisted housing. When parents separate, one party, usually the primary parent, has the children the majority of the time but secondary or 'non-resident' parents continue to share some type of parenting time and responsibility, to some extent, with their child.
Thursday 17 June, 2010
Research on "Lifestyle of Single Parented Child"
Single parent & their sad demise
73% of mothers stay with their single parented children where only 27% fathers stay with their single parented children.
Can we ever thought that why children more staying with their alone mothers? Is it the like our past tradition that after death a man can get easily married & women can not. It may be because somewhere & somehow women are still not getting that much freedom what actually they need. If a man can get married after her wife’s death then why woman can not? This is the senario of our society on which we all have to think to give them(women) freedom, so that they can also walk soldier to soldier with men.
37% of single parented children lost their one of parent due to accdental reasons whereas 63% of single parented children lost their one of parent due to natural death.
More % of deaths were due the natural deaths. May be this was the reason behind that women are still satying alone & they love their child very very much.
Relationship & understanding of behavior of their single parent.
67% of children have friendly relation with their single parent, 27% children have normal relation with their single parent & 6% children are saying that they have irritated relationship with their single parent.
In that 67 % those who have friendly realtion with their parent, one girl commented “My mother is very friendly & we share good & healthy realtionship”. One boy commented “Very franky, frindly type of relationship I have with my mother ” whereas other girl comented “I have well & understanding relationship with my mom’.
In that 6% those who have irritated relationship with their single parent. One boy commented “He always scolds me, sometimes even though when I didn’t make mistake”. One girl commented “I don’t have good relationship with my father, because he never understand me”.
According to us ralationship & understanding plays a very important role in human life. These things are essential to maintain good & healthy realationship. But sometimes hen parents scolds us for our right path we misunderstood them & we started feeling that our parent don’t love us. When we are talking about the realtionship then behavior is also imortant to relationship.
67% children understand their single parents behavior as normal, 27% children understand their single parent’s behaviour as good & 6% consider their parent’s behavior as bad.
One boy commented “She is ossom, philospher & guide . the only person that can understood me much better”. One boy commented “Aajtak main apne dad ko nahi samajh payi kyonki wo humesha gussa hi karte rahte hai pata nahi kyun”.
We got that the number of normal behavior is equal to the number of children those who have good relation with their parents. Today’s youth may not understand their single parent’s behvior but they should understand
Apart from relationship & behavior 90% children feels that they would have been better life if they had both the parent. Only 10% children feels that there will not be any different if they had both the parent means their life is normal after the sad demise of their parent.
One commented “yes then I will get more time to study”. Other commented “yes because both the parents are equally important in our life”.
As every coin has two sides. One side children says that they have irritated relationship & not so good behavior with their parent & on other side they feel that their life would have been better if they had both the parent. This is the matter of love & care in our relationship thats what children thinks about their single parent. Specially children like love & care about their single parent.
83% children says that no one can replace their single parent whereas 17% children says that there are people who can replace their single parent.
One girl commented “No, because nobody can become our parents. Parents understand their children & their needs needs. They also avoid their mistakes but for me no one can replace atleast my single parent”. One boy is commented “No, because my mother has all the capacity to manage me & my sister & we three are happy in our life o there is no need of 4th person in my family”.
According to us children don’t want any other person as there second parent because they are very much emotionally attached with their lost parent so we can say this is the dillema of child & parent.
Decisions & need related problem of Single parented Child
only 27% single parented children takes their own important decision, just 23% single parent takes decision for their children, 36% decision of single parented child takes more than one person, 7% decision taken by brothers & sisters respectively.
In these decisions 90% decisions children takes their own decision yhose who live with their mother & very less takes their own decision those who live with their father. Through this we can analise that children have more restrictions on theirselves when they live with their father & childrens have less or we can say negligible restrictions on theirselves when they stay with their mother.
21% decisions related to the academics childrens takes their own, 45% of decisions takes their single parent, 10% decisions takes their brother, just 3% decisions takes their relatives, 7% decisions are taken by their friends & 14% decisions takes more than one person.
Decisions related to career or academics single parented child wants to take their own decision & then on second number single parent comes in the matter of taking decision of their children. Which is very impotant aspect that nowadays childrens are started getting more & more freedom of their own choice. Children don’t want anobdy to interfare in their matter.
40% children are saying that they did not argued with their single parent. 33% are saying that they argued for their parents care & need. 17% are saying that they argued on the topic of education & 10% are saying that they argued on the toic of their early marriage.
One commented “I argued for my pocket money & long night out”.
Generally children argued with their parents on the issue of pocket money & freedom. But in this question only boys have argued on the topic for pocket money & freedom. One girl argued on the issue of early mariage of her sisters.
CONCLUSION
The overall conclusion is that all the single parented are not able to understand their single parent & they consider that their parent is not behaving well with them. Everytime single parented takes their own decision in all the manners.
For us parents
Parents are the most beautiful & wonderful creation by the god which are very auspicious for their children. Parents are gifts from God. Parents, the important people in our life. They not only give birth but also take our care, protect us, Fulfills our needs & always try to keep us happy. Both mother & father plays vital role in bringing up their children.
Mother: she holds a baby in a uterus for nine months bearing so much pain. She feels the presence of a live within her talking breathy kicking sometimes making her feels like mother. A mother is a first person who the child indentified as his/her own. She protects her child from all the bad things. A mother is giver of birth, nourishment, love manners, happiness and a tension free childhood.
Father: He is second most important person. A father is the who work hard and earn just to see a smile in his child’s face. A Father gives everything to his child. We always seen men & women hard working & earning money and buying properties but the sake of whom? They earn For the sake of children. So that the children get good education, food, clothes and also fulfills their needs. Parents love is unconditional love. The love is priceless. They don’ expect anything from child. They only know to anything for their child.
73% of mothers stay with their single parented children where only 27% fathers stay with their single parented children.
Can we ever thought that why children more staying with their alone mothers? Is it the like our past tradition that after death a man can get easily married & women can not. It may be because somewhere & somehow women are still not getting that much freedom what actually they need. If a man can get married after her wife’s death then why woman can not? This is the senario of our society on which we all have to think to give them(women) freedom, so that they can also walk soldier to soldier with men.
37% of single parented children lost their one of parent due to accdental reasons whereas 63% of single parented children lost their one of parent due to natural death.
More % of deaths were due the natural deaths. May be this was the reason behind that women are still satying alone & they love their child very very much.
Relationship & understanding of behavior of their single parent.
67% of children have friendly relation with their single parent, 27% children have normal relation with their single parent & 6% children are saying that they have irritated relationship with their single parent.
In that 67 % those who have friendly realtion with their parent, one girl commented “My mother is very friendly & we share good & healthy realtionship”. One boy commented “Very franky, frindly type of relationship I have with my mother ” whereas other girl comented “I have well & understanding relationship with my mom’.
In that 6% those who have irritated relationship with their single parent. One boy commented “He always scolds me, sometimes even though when I didn’t make mistake”. One girl commented “I don’t have good relationship with my father, because he never understand me”.
According to us ralationship & understanding plays a very important role in human life. These things are essential to maintain good & healthy realationship. But sometimes hen parents scolds us for our right path we misunderstood them & we started feeling that our parent don’t love us. When we are talking about the realtionship then behavior is also imortant to relationship.
67% children understand their single parents behavior as normal, 27% children understand their single parent’s behaviour as good & 6% consider their parent’s behavior as bad.
One boy commented “She is ossom, philospher & guide . the only person that can understood me much better”. One boy commented “Aajtak main apne dad ko nahi samajh payi kyonki wo humesha gussa hi karte rahte hai pata nahi kyun”.
We got that the number of normal behavior is equal to the number of children those who have good relation with their parents. Today’s youth may not understand their single parent’s behvior but they should understand
Apart from relationship & behavior 90% children feels that they would have been better life if they had both the parent. Only 10% children feels that there will not be any different if they had both the parent means their life is normal after the sad demise of their parent.
One commented “yes then I will get more time to study”. Other commented “yes because both the parents are equally important in our life”.
As every coin has two sides. One side children says that they have irritated relationship & not so good behavior with their parent & on other side they feel that their life would have been better if they had both the parent. This is the matter of love & care in our relationship thats what children thinks about their single parent. Specially children like love & care about their single parent.
83% children says that no one can replace their single parent whereas 17% children says that there are people who can replace their single parent.
One girl commented “No, because nobody can become our parents. Parents understand their children & their needs needs. They also avoid their mistakes but for me no one can replace atleast my single parent”. One boy is commented “No, because my mother has all the capacity to manage me & my sister & we three are happy in our life o there is no need of 4th person in my family”.
According to us children don’t want any other person as there second parent because they are very much emotionally attached with their lost parent so we can say this is the dillema of child & parent.
Decisions & need related problem of Single parented Child
only 27% single parented children takes their own important decision, just 23% single parent takes decision for their children, 36% decision of single parented child takes more than one person, 7% decision taken by brothers & sisters respectively.
In these decisions 90% decisions children takes their own decision yhose who live with their mother & very less takes their own decision those who live with their father. Through this we can analise that children have more restrictions on theirselves when they live with their father & childrens have less or we can say negligible restrictions on theirselves when they stay with their mother.
21% decisions related to the academics childrens takes their own, 45% of decisions takes their single parent, 10% decisions takes their brother, just 3% decisions takes their relatives, 7% decisions are taken by their friends & 14% decisions takes more than one person.
Decisions related to career or academics single parented child wants to take their own decision & then on second number single parent comes in the matter of taking decision of their children. Which is very impotant aspect that nowadays childrens are started getting more & more freedom of their own choice. Children don’t want anobdy to interfare in their matter.
40% children are saying that they did not argued with their single parent. 33% are saying that they argued for their parents care & need. 17% are saying that they argued on the topic of education & 10% are saying that they argued on the toic of their early marriage.
One commented “I argued for my pocket money & long night out”.
Generally children argued with their parents on the issue of pocket money & freedom. But in this question only boys have argued on the topic for pocket money & freedom. One girl argued on the issue of early mariage of her sisters.
CONCLUSION
The overall conclusion is that all the single parented are not able to understand their single parent & they consider that their parent is not behaving well with them. Everytime single parented takes their own decision in all the manners.
For us parents
Parents are the most beautiful & wonderful creation by the god which are very auspicious for their children. Parents are gifts from God. Parents, the important people in our life. They not only give birth but also take our care, protect us, Fulfills our needs & always try to keep us happy. Both mother & father plays vital role in bringing up their children.
Mother: she holds a baby in a uterus for nine months bearing so much pain. She feels the presence of a live within her talking breathy kicking sometimes making her feels like mother. A mother is a first person who the child indentified as his/her own. She protects her child from all the bad things. A mother is giver of birth, nourishment, love manners, happiness and a tension free childhood.
Father: He is second most important person. A father is the who work hard and earn just to see a smile in his child’s face. A Father gives everything to his child. We always seen men & women hard working & earning money and buying properties but the sake of whom? They earn For the sake of children. So that the children get good education, food, clothes and also fulfills their needs. Parents love is unconditional love. The love is priceless. They don’ expect anything from child. They only know to anything for their child.
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